Jaffa Warrior Julie’t

It took some convincing, but I finally caved and agreed to not cancel Halloween this year, and even helped decide on our daughter’s first ever Halloween costume: a Jaffa warrior, as portrayed in television’s Stargate SG1.

My wife and I decided on this obscure character because the generic infant costumes are typically just colored sacks that you drop your baby into that are supposed to represent various little animals or monsters. There’s little we could think of that was less original than this route, and we both like SG1, and the character seems to fit her well.

It was a huge success! Although most people were at a loss when it came to knowing what the character was supposed to be, [nearly] everyone agreed that she looked fantastic. Most of the credit here should go to my wife who hand-made this costume from scratch.

She also had a collar piece and cap, but she refused to wear them.

The thing with the corks is supposed to be a safety Staff Weapon

I also went as an SG1 character. Here I am representing Dr. Daniel Jackson

 

Jaffa do not surprise easily

 

Indeed.

Adventures in Transcription

I’ve been experimenting with a Google Voice voicemail box, and I’ve found thusfar that it can bring hours of entertainment when trying to decipher what the text transcription of the voicemail left was. This one I got from my friend last week was actually pretty spot-on, but funny nonetheless:

“Chris, it’s me, it’s Jim. It’s actually my birthday today and so I’m calling everyone from that speech, in Jamaica, that I’m sitting on. It’s very nice. I saw Barracuda in the water. I’ve been drinking a little bit because I’m in Jamaica and I’m at a beach. And yeah, at some point I am going to see you and your family. And compliment your baby. Yes, okay, hope you are doing well. Okay. I’m probably gonna turn my phone off of roaming soon, okay. Bye bye.”

“I saw Barracuda in the water” is probably the best line from any voicemail I’ve received ever.

Video Game Review: Catherine (PS3)

Catherine made its way onto the game scene earlier this year into a highly skeptical market. You see, gamers in general have very specific preferences for games, and there’s usually very little margin for error when attempting something new, let alone something that seems distinctly foreign. It’s a dangerous decision, one that’s usually altogether avoided by the game industry at large. Every once in a while we’ll get a Portal or a Limbo, but typically game companies (like any other form of media) would rather place their money on a safe bet. Developer Atlus has recently (well, say PS2 era) decided not to be operated under this paradigm, choosing instead to focus on risky but rewarding franchises such as Disgaea, Persona, Demon Souls, and Tsugunai. These games are typically defined by their genre-bending antics and willingness to abandon the restrictive themes usually associated with similar titles in the genre. In short, if you’re a game director with a ballsy idea: go to Atlus, they’ll hook you up with minimum questions asked.

Such is what happened with Catherine, a game that’s rather difficult to define, let alone explain and attempt to review. The game is self described as a “romantic horror”, which I guess is kind of accurate. I would probably describe it as an interactive thriller, but even that seems too vague and doesn’t really do it justice. Maybe it’s just best to try and explain what the game does.

Catherine presents you the beginning of a love-story gone awry, wherein the main character Vincent begins to have strange nightmares following a conversation with his long-time girlfriend eluding to marriage. You are left to guide Vincent through to the end of this sordid tale, based solely on choices you make for him based on your own feelings about what’s happening to him in the story. These choices will ultimately affect whether or not–in certain situations–you lean more towards a chaotic or stable style of living. Essentially the game wants to psychoanalyze you as the main character and find out what you would do in certain situations, and crafts the game around your choices until you’re eventually given one of eight possible endings that will theoretically match your personality type perfectly (in short, the ending you get should be the perfect ending for you). This isn’t to say that this is just a yes-or-no choice game. While the decisions you make in the game (and they are many, and they get rather complex) affect the story directly, it’s by no means the majority of the game play.

The gameplay is actually split up into 3 major areas that follow the pattern over the course of 15-20hrs or so, or “one week” as the main character. You have your story segments first, followed by your time at the bar (more on that shortly), and the nightmare puzzles. It’s fair to label this game as a puzzle game, as well, as about 1/3 of the game revolves around solving complex puzzles which involve climbing a tower of shifting blocks. It shouldn’t be a surprise that this is the hardest aspect of the gameplay, and even on the easy difficulty setting, getting through these puzzles can be pretty challenging.

The bar aspect of the gameplay that I was mentioning before, though, is somehow amazing. It shouldn’t be, at all. Against all odds, though, the director has managed to take the experience of hanging out at a bar with a few of your friends mainly just talking and drinking (and occasionally checking texts on your phone) and turned it into a genuinely fun bit of gameplay. Where it jumps from fun gameplay to damn clever is when your choices that you make at the bar (how you spend your time, who you talk to, even how much you drink) will affect not only the story but the gameplay in the puzzles as well. The director has crafted 3 unique gameplay elements into one cohesive, adaptable product, flawlessly.

The story itself is presented in noir fashion, combining compelling bits of horror and thriller into a fascinating tale, equipped with twists and surprises throughout. Somewhere around half-way I started to get a little freaked out with how closely the main characters reactions were matching my own, and it only drew me into the story more.

Another ingenious aspect of the game is the copious use of metaphors (both subtle and overt) throughout the entire experience. Rule of thumb with this game is that if it’s in this game, it’s probably also a metaphor for something else. It’s hard to, you know, go into that without ruining some of the best aspects of this game, so unfortunately I can’t, really, sorry.

Instead I want to touch briefly on what a fantastic job the localization team did with the dialogue. All the dialogue and events in the game–the vast majority of which should seem pretty Japanese–are localized with such care that by the end of it the only inherently Japanese bit that stands out is that you can order sake at the bar. That and you have sushi for lunch on occasion. The voice acting is great and the dialogue is natural, all of which does its job to further immerse you in the main character’s position.

Since this is technically a review, I’ll mention briefly that the graphics, sound, and soundtrack are all also up to par. The soundtrack is done by an old standby for Atlus, Shoji Meguro, who also did work on the Persona series, and it’s appropriately dark. Really though, the graphics and technical aspects of the game are pretty much the last thing on my mind here, though, as the game shines on its own regardless of how pretty it looks.

What this game does sticks with you, and for good reason: over the course of the game it has personalized the experience for you, adapting itself to what you tell it you think. On top of the personalization of the story, you mix in fun and challenging gameplay, interesting/realistic characters, and what may be the greatest representation of my dream bar ever put in media. Really, this game has it all.

If this sounds just intriguing enough to try (and you don’t get turned off by puzzles or long story sequences, or, you know, drinking), then you should absolutely play this game. It’s one of the best I’ve played in a long time.

Final Grade: A (I know!)

Post Hard (Thursday Edition)!

A bit later in the article I plan to talk about the new Ryan Adams album Ashes & Fire, and I’ll also do some box office predictions since I will be unable to do my usual Friday post tomorrow, but first I’d like to address something. In light of the recent announcement that Die Hard 5 is not only coming out, but unfortunately titled A Good Day To Die Hard (slightly less confusing than Live Free Or Die Hard), I’ve no choice but to make a public service announcement:

You are not obligated to, nor should you see A Good Day To Die Hard. Thank you.

No matter how much Snape is in it.

Die Hard is one of those series that will never really go away because it harkens back to the “golden age of shallow action” in a way that’s only recently been fully capitalized on with movies like the Rambo sequel and The Expendables. Willis still likes to make money though, and Die Hard movies usually have that vigilante sensibility about them that people who loved Dirty Harry, Death Wish and I dunno, Boondock Saints fall for every time. McClane (now legendary for being the cliché that signifies one-dimensional action star) is that no-nonsense hardcore underdog that is going to save the USA every time, even if sometimes America has to be portrayed as an airport. But you know the good news? You don’t have to sit through it again. You have the power to realize that this new movie will be no different than movies you’ve already paid money for, in the past, and therefore don’t need to pay that money again. You have the power to realize that the studio is just recycling the same tired garbage in an attempt to steal your money. They are charging you for a service they already performed once a couple decades ago, over and over again. This is within your power. If, somehow, you find yourself wanting to see it, just, you know, to see what it’s like or something, remember that you can just watch Die Hard With A Vengeance, and you’ll have saved yourself some money.

Or, you know, it could be absolutely amazing. Maybe it’ll be about how McClane is unemployed and fighting against major banks in a one-man Occupy Wall Street blitz, armed with nothing but a picket sign and a tank. Either way it’s common knowledge that most movie series finally get good around the 5th installment.

BOX OFFICE PREDICTIONS! (A DAY EARLY!)

  1. Real Steel
  2. The Thing
  3. Ides of March
  4. Footloose
  5. Dolphin Tale

The week is finally upon us wherein both Footloose and The Thing are released into the wild. I’m not entirely sure that it’s drawing so much interest as to guarantee it a spot in the top 5 (let alone 2), but it’s a horror movie and it is October, and I’ve seen commercials for it, so, good enough for me. I’m hoping that Footloose doesn’t do as well as I’m predicting (ala Glee The Movie), but we’ll just have to keep our fingers crossed and see. I find it difficult, sometimes, to predict the outcome for something I genuinely don’t want to know the outcome to.

I think the statute of limitations has passed on searching for Glee images.

Another setback realized this week, was that Juliet’s costume is going to be a lot more involved than previously imagineered. It turns out we’re gonna need a lot more parts to make the whole costume machine come together, but we’re confident that on October 31, Juliet will stand proud amongst her Jaffa brethren, and declare herself free. It will be a proud day.

So, before I forget: Ashes & Fire. It’s damn good, which actually surprises me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a pretty big Ryan Adams fan (Orion notwithstanding), but as it is this is his first solo album he’s done in a while. So, logically I guess, what we end up with is a Cardinals-style sound stripped down from its typical pop-ish shell, leaving haunting, honest tunes with subject matter not dissimilar to what he wrote about in albums like Cold Roses or Jacksonville City Nights. Really, in my mind it’s what a great Ryan Adams album should be: less than 12 tracks of honest, lyrical pieces, each with their own flavor that will stick with you even after first listen. In case there was any confusion, though, what I’m not describing is 29. Just wanted to clarify. It’s not 29.

Ryan Adams, or, my idea of what he's supposed to be

Today’s song of the day is INDEED off that album. Enjoy Do I Wait. It’s track 5.

Let’s All Sail To India

Well, it’s been an eventful holiday for our family. We woke up early to get Juliet’s obligatory monthiversary photo taken, and proceeded to head north to Jo-Ann Fabrics where we obtained the necessary ingredients to bake up one hell of a Halloween costume. For those not yet in-the-know, Juliet is going to be Master Bra’tak, a Jaffa warrior from Chulak. He taught Teal’c everything he knows and was even first prime of Apophis, once. It seems only natural that Juliet be allowed the opportunity to emulate this great Jaffa hero.

Jaffa, kree!

Box office results (so close!):

  1. Real Steel
  2. Ides of March
  3. Moneyball // Dolphin Tale
  4. Dolphin Tale // Moneyball
  5. 50/50

Only $1.6m separated Dolphin Tale and Moneyball this week; an outcome I should’ve seen coming considering that numbers 1-3 probably weren’t all going to be dramas. Real Steel really cemented itself as a box-office hit, though, raking in almost $30m this weekend (thanks a lot, NFL Sunday). This of course means that the greenlighting of its sequel a couple weeks ago wasn’t in vain, and Spielberg can go on making animatronic Rocky Balboas for years to come.

Next week is the big week though, with The Thing prequel finally releasing alongside doomed remake Footloose. I guess both of the original films there could be considered cult hits to their respective audiences, so the real question is which respective audience will be bold enough to go pay $10 to see what the hell happened to their beloved film? I personally enjoyed the original version of The Thing, but I’m not entirely convinced that I need to see this prequel at all. Part of the elegance of the original film was that they set up exactly what would’ve happened in the prequel within the first ten minutes of the film, and the audience is left saying “oh, okay”. Notice they’re not saying “you know I’d really like to see that stretched into 2hrs”. Who knows, though. Maybe it’ll recapture the spirit of the original or something. Footloose, though, is going to suck.

I dunno, it has a real "You Got Served" vibe about it...

Today’s song of the day is Hazel, off of Dylan’s 1974 album Planet Waves. Enjoy.

Month Two

As per tradition, Juliet has opted to take part in her monthly photo-shoot and has exited the process unscathed. This month’s theme was “The Sporting Life”.

Go Bears!

We also went shopping for all the material necessary to build her Halloween costume. As it is her first Halloween, we’ll be going a little easy on her. We bought yards of fabric, and enough materials to make a convincing staff-weapon. Look forward to that, too!

From The Grave

October’s here and this means EXACTLY three things: post-season baseball, Halloween’s approaching, and I am sick. I’ve come to rely on Octobers for their unwavering consistency in this regard, and it makes me happy to think that next year, no matter what else is going on in my life, these three constants will be upheld.

Except for that--remember--next year's Halloween will be the last Halloween.

Box Office Resurgence:

  1. Real Steel
  2. Ides of March
  3. Moneyball
  4. Dolphin Tale
  5. 50/50

I’m pretty sure my #1 and #2 are gonna be correct, as they carry the verisimilitude of actual film about them, unlike SO MUCH that has been released to the public this year. Now, I’m not saying that either of those films will be good (Real Steel most certainly will not be), but they carry that air about them that a desperate and content-starved audience will flock to. Moneyball had it last week, and now these two do. Dolphin Tale and 50/50 are kind of wildcard players here, and I don’t care if my predictions for where they fall are accurate, because I simply couldn’t give a damn. There, I said it.

I don't care whether or not you've seen this dolphin (seen here being pinned for a murder it did not commit)

I’m officially done with my prestigious three-week training course for my new job, and am excited to find out how it actually is to work at my new place of employ next week. Honestly, even after 120hrs of intensive training, I haven’t the slightest clue what it will actually be like to deal with employee management solutions for small businesses, mostly because it’s such a broad and mysterious field (kind of like the bone graveyard from the Lion King, remember?) I’ll be sure to let you know, though, how it goes and all. I don’t officially start until Tuesday because apparently Monday is some sort of pagan holiday. I don’t know. All I know is that I never used to get holidays off, and I’m still uncomfortable with the concept.

Columbus, pictured above, discovering that boats can travel faster when semi-submerged in a body of water.

Today’s song of the day is off The Pillows latest album Horn Again, which still gets my vote for awesome album art. It’s entitled Brilliant Crown, ’cause you know, why not. It’s Japanese, so it doesn’t matter all that much. At least that’s what I’ve been lead to believe.  For those of you unfamiliar with the group, they’ve been around for over 20yrs and most of their stuff has a sort of Oasis feel to them, but that’s not to say that if you like/dislike Oasis you’ll feel the same about these guys.

Sick Leave

Hey everyone, just a quick apology for my thin posts lately, I’ve been completing training at work while under the influence of a serious cold. Let’s see… any other excuses I can throw out here? Sure.

  • I’ve been watching a lot of Home Movies
  • Parenting
  • My wife is begrudgingly giving How I Met Your Mother a chance, which is both distracting and distasteful
  • Glasses

They know what they did.

And much, much more. I’ve actually been wanting to write a massive “Disney Deconstructed” post in which I finally sum up ALL of my thoughts on Disney and its films since it’s a conversation (or rather, different conversations) I have all too often. It would actually be a perfect Wednesday post, but again, excuses.

Actually, I wanted to point something out real quick: long time followers of my blog WILL NOT be surprised that I am sick at this time of year. For as far back as I can remember I always get sick in October. Usually it’s on Halloween (and usually there’s also some sort of ladybug infestation that acts as the insult to injury), but generally it’s anytime in October. So, yay continuity. At least this year I got the jump on actual illness by taking part in a free flu-shot spree that was happening at my work. It’s my first time getting the flu shot and I’d feel invigorated if not for this cold.

This, and many other reasons why Juliet will not be a ladybug for Halloween.

Song of the day is Mendelssohn’s overture for The Hebrides (Fingal’s Cave). You all like Mendelssohn, right?

Unjust Comparisons

First, and foremost, I’ve discovered UNCANNY and UNDENIABLE evidence linking my daughter to former rock-god Freddie Mercury.

Guaranteed to blow your mind. Anytime.

I was gonna post more pictures, but really, nothing can top this groundbreaking revelation. It’ll take me quite a while to understand the full implications of this.

Box Office Round-up:

  1. Dolphin Tale
  2. Moneyball
  3. The Lion King
  4. Courageous (more on this in a minute)
  5. 50/50

The most unflappable of my readers will note that I didn’t bother doing a prediction on Friday, mainly because I needed a break in predicting the inescapable lull and tedium in this box office season. There’s literally been nothing to come out in so long that my mind is beginning to erode, and I needed but a brief respite from the chore that is looking at what’s coming out.

I mean, I like Joseph Gordon Levitt and all, I just don't wanna be hurt again...

It was a wise decision too. Courageous?! What the hell? I honestly never heard of it, but IF I HAD taken the time to research it, I would’ve discovered that it’s some trite piece of garbage from the people that brought you the preachy, Hallmark-esque bullshit that was Fireproof. It’s a nauseous mix of family values (marriage is forever), good Christian education, and a bit of 9/11 (it’s firefighter-centric) and it applies to a very, very specific demographic. Apparently Courageous is the same thing but with policemen instead of firefighters. Most of these director’s movies are straight to video and with good reason. There’s typically no reason for most audiences to want to sit through a two-hour Lifetime Original movie about how we can find God again, let alone in public. BUT WAIT, suddenly it’s the 10yr anniversary of 9/11 (close enough) and it’s about policemen and there’s nothing else out and… yeah. I dunno, it’s hard to justify, really. Maybe there were some church groups that went out and just bought copious amounts of tickets to boost box office sales. Unfortunately it’s hard to see where the director will go from here, now that firefighter and policeman are already yesterday’s news, but I’m guessing it’s not gay Native American.

You can just read this book and save yourself's 2hrs.

At least there will be some contenders at the office this upcoming weekend, with both Real Steel (which I imagine probably not a mix between Wall-E and The Prestige) and Clooney’s political thing The Ides of March. Hey, at least neither of them are directly about dolphins (probably).

Today’s song of the day is a very live version of Forget Me Not by The Civil Wars, a band I’ve very recently discovered. It’s nice, when I discover a band with only one album out there; makes it pretty easy on me. Thanks, guys. Their harmonies are pretty groovy, if’n that strikes your fancy.