Afternoon, all. While I’m still reeling from the whirlwind of after-parties and schmooze-fests following my big 100th Blog Spectacular, I’ve made the decision not to blow off my regular Friday update. Now, I know what you’re thinking: Friday classics (classic though they may be) aren’t really the most popular blogs I do, as they typically boil down to box office predictions and maybe a song of the day. Well okay, the song of the day is guaranteed, and maybe I’ll even throw in a picture of Juliet. I can promise you, though, that I won’t write a 1400 word review of anything today.
Everything I learned about writing film reviews I learned from writing thousands of university application essays.
Box Office Predictorialations:
- Apollo Eighteen
- Shark Fest: Revenge of the Sharkening
- The Help
- Columbiana
- Apes, Still
Ugh, another disgusting week at the movies. The Help remains the only watchable movie (probably, I’m not seeing it), and we see the introduction of two more grindhouse flicks: Apollo 18, and Shark Night 3D. Let’s be clear: none of these movies are worth seeing, though they might be sufficient time-wasters. Shark Night wouldn’t exist if Piranha 3D didn’t do so well when that came out, and everyone seems to forget that these are really just Syfy Original Movies released in theaters with 3D glasses. This is not a laughing matter. What IS funny, though, is that NASA decided to release an official statement warning the public that Apollo 18 is not real. At first I thought, “surely NASA doesn’t think we’re that stupid,” and then I remembered that they’ve been dealing with moon landing conspiracy theorists for the past 50 years, and then I just got really sad. Thank you, box office, for making me really sad.
Remember when these guys had to debunk the hoax three times over? Remember, society? "Moon Landing Hoax" is still the #2 result on Google.
After watching Kagemusha I decided I was gonna take another long (2-month) break from watching movies, and broke that decision the following night when I watched Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket (for the first time). I’ve seen a lot of Kubrick’s work and it’s probably not that hard to guess that I’m a big fan. That being said, there’s a remarkable amount of Kubrick movies I hadn’t seen, including Full Metal, Eyes Wide Shut, Lolita, and Spartacus. The reason for ignoring these movies for the better part of a decade is more about what I’ve heard about them and less about being lazy. Specifically, I heard from people that I trust that they’re all pretty sub-par (with Eyes being the worst offender, at least according to Kubrick). Full Metal Jacket, though, wasn’t bad. I can see what people are saying, though, when they say it’s not that great. The directing is obviously phenomenal, and apparently they even created a new camera technique employing an off-sync shutter for the more intense action sequences. The technique was also famously used in Saving Private Ryan, which was most definitely not a Kubrick film. Anyway, the first half of the film functions as a complete story–a short play–about life in a marine boot-camp. It’s a complete and isolated story, so it feels a little weird contrasted against the rest of the movie, which is mostly snapshots of the war itself. It makes sense, in that we follow the experiences of a marine journalist, but it feels a bit jarring considering that the first 45min of the movie was paced entirely differently. It’s not bad, though, just off. The final act is cohesive and damn great, but overall I gave the movie a B+, mostly because I was comparing it against other Kubrick films like Space Odyssey and Paths of Glory. It’s not as good as those.
Tonight Juliet gets to FINALLY see the other side of her big ‘ol family as we venture into the heart of Arlington Heights to see my aunt, grandparents, and cousins. I actually had to look up what their relation to Juliet actually legally was, as I was always confused about this. Obviously my grandparents to her are great grandparents, but apparently my aunt and uncle are her great aunt and uncle. Furthermore, my cousins are her second cousins. Now I know, and the whole situation should go a lot more smoothly now that I’ll be able to do proper introductions for someone who’s not even a month old yet.
Old enough for stroller rides through the neighborhood, though.
Today’s song of the day is a cover song. I know! It’s good though. Justin Townes Earle covers The Replacement’s song, Can’t Hardly Wait. It’s a pretty great cover, even though there’s a lack of brass. This video is especially great because his D string on his guitar breaks at the start of the performance.
The Glass City 
Since I didn’t say so in my last reply, I found your review quite enjoyable to read. One an unrelated side note, I was just listening to that song today!!